My journey home was long.
Long journeys are difficult to
endure when you have too many thoughts on your mind, and too little desire to know.
Long journeys are difficult to
endure when it’s too silent around, and the only voices you hear are the voices
in your head: voices you can’t wait to mute, voices too eager to speak of words
too cruel to digest.
Long journeys are difficult to
endure when you can’t sleep, when you are too afraid to fall asleep, when you
are too afraid of dreaming.
My journey home was too long.
Today
is the day I declare my war on mirrors.
Mirrors can be quite deceitful.
Mirrors can be painfully honest.
Mirrors can be merciless and
unkind.
Today is the day I stop looking
into mirrors.
Today is a day I can’t look into my
own eyes.
The flood of yesterday left them so
dry, so dry: the drought frightens me.
Today
I’m thankful for my weak memory. This is not a thought most people can confess.
I read somewhere once that the mind is a diamond shield that strives to shelter
the soul in the most curious ways.
Yesterday they fired rockets at my
soul. Rockets to burn me down.
Yesterday my mind performed wonders
to save my soul. Not a single rocket could pass through. Not a single building
fell.
Yesterday my mind fought a deadly
war with my memory.
Today my mind murdered my memory.
Today my mind spared me the imagery.
I read somewhere once that the
mind, in times of crisis, will exhort great power to bury the evidence.
Today I’m thankful for my weak
memory.
Tomorrow will be the day that time
will deserve my respect more than ever.
You would be surprised how much
pain people are able to swallow. Humans have an exceptional quality; a power –
if I dare say – called forgiveness.
They say disappointments build a
stronger character.
I say they rob your soul of
innocence.
Maybe one day I will wake up and be
stronger.
Maybe one day God will learn to
forgive me.
Maybe one day I will learn to
forgive God.
Yesterday a small part of me died.
Today my soul remains still a
little terrified.
Tomorrow will be a new day.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
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